Our identity is a choice. If we don't actively take part in that choice, then outside factors will decide on an identity for us. In the previous piece, “Identity is a choice (Part 1)”, I spoke about the different aspects of identity, what it is, how it's formed, and how I came to create mine. In its closing, I mentioned that an identity should be made up of good and strong qualities. Here, I delve deeper into what I mean by this.
Jordan Peterson, in one of his lectures on identity, states that without an identity that brings along a disciplined structure, we are chaotic at our core. My interpretation is that without a clear identity, there is inner turmoil and confusion within us. In part 1 I mentioned that I grew up in a white community and the inner turmoil and confusion I had because I didn't look like them. It was only when I discovered my descent from the indigenous people of Southern Africa that I found peace with my appearance. The identity I saw during my early years growing up, gave me a false sense of my group identity at that age. The discovery of my heritage helped me to make the choice and break from the false group identity I had. Knowingly or unknowingly, we choose our identity.
The Khio heritage is rich in tradition and culture that is said to have existed for thousands of years. Being connected to this group identity gave me the confidence to be proud of my African features. You also get to know your people’s history, you become aware of their present situation and this gave me direction for the future and what I should impart to my kids and my wife. Identity becomes the foundation on which our principals will stand - good or bad. Those principles will guide your behavior towards the world, parents, siblings, friends, etc. The behavior will influence all areas of your life and that will determine where you end up at the end of your life. Your behavior will create a person who will either attract or push away good things.
Even though I have chosen the Khio identity and its good and strong qualities that have been in existence for more than 20000 years, it was not enough. The Khio identity checks the box for who my people are, but what else? Are there advantages to being part of the Khio? Maybe selfish thinking, but does it promise me anything? How will it advance my quality of life, what can it do to help me with my principles? What does it say about death and what comes after it, and are those answers enough? These are questions that I have grappled with from time to time throughout my life. In the end, the Khio identity came up short in many areas of my life.
Considering it all I realized that I have settled in well with my principles before my identity. Even though I had adopted a false identity at that time, it was at that stage that I was exposed to the importance of spirituality, family, and so on. I easily connected with the 5 principles and used them over the years as guidelines when setting my goals for my career, relationships, and so forth. My spirituality told me I came from God first and foremost, it then stands to reason that I should find my identity with my maker. When I did this, I found that with an identity in God, all my questions can be answered. The identity of being a child of God can support my goals in life, there is protection, and it gives a good answer for what happens after life.
Being my own person and living according to my own way brings chaos as I mentioned dr Peterson said. We have to adopt a reliable steadfast identity to build our personalities upon. Even though some identities have existed for thousands of years it doesn't hold any benefit to the individual and it only speaks to a small part of the inner us in this life. The child of God identity will last into eternity and the Bible provides guidance and examples of what it means to be a child of God.
Since we came from God it should only be natural that we will find a reliable identity in Him and He will help us with our daily struggles trying to live as children of God. In this identity, we find a father who loves us so much that He sent His only son for us to die so that we can take on this group identity and become part of His family. He makes the enemy powerless who does everything in his power to prevent us from taking up this identity. There is then only one identity to choose and that is to become a child of God.