The title of this piece refers to the “modern man,” but my point of view comes from my background as a modern South African coloured male. At my age, I’ve had the chance to observe how boys grow into men. I’m convinced that our unconscious observations of our surroundings as children profoundly shape who we become as adults.

When trying to inspire others to adopt a positive mindset about becoming self-sufficient, conversations often shift toward how many times they have tried and failed. Instead of a conversation to motivate, it turns into a contest about how they have done more than I could imagine.